For the time being, my mother and I have chosen not to blog publicly about what is going on concerning Children & Youth and my brothers. This is at the advice of her lawyer. I personally feel that he is useless and a waste of time, but we’ll give him a chance at the hearing that is coming up at the end of this month before making our next move.
Thank you all for your support, well wishes and prayers. They are all very much appreciated.
I spoke to both of my sons tonight and told them both how much I love them, how much I think of them, how much they are a part of my heart and how proud I was of them for being strong during this dark and difficult time in our lives.
I also reassured my older son that none of this was his fault. He’s starting to feel like all of this is his fault. Although some of his behaviors haven’t helped (he is after all autistic and does therefore have special needs), I told him that this is mainly the fault of one or more power hungry CYS workers.
Both boys are so homesick, that it is pitiful. They both want to be able to come so badly. And, I told both of my sons how hard both my daughter Jenn and I are working to “rescue” them from CYS.
Jenn, her kids and I have been going every Sunday to see A. (my youngest son) at the shelter. Thankfully, it is a nice place run by the Methodist Church. It is clean, the staff seem kind and my son has his own room there. he says the food is good and they do go swimming, go out on trips, have parties, etc. And although all of that is nice, it is still not home.
We are also planning to go Saturday to see my older son Y. at Devereaux to bring him some more needed clothing, snacks and a few other items. He shares a room with a child who destroys my son’s property whenever he is angry with the staff. Besides discussing this with the Director, I am bringing a lock box for my son to lock up his items to keep them safe. I am going to request that this child is transferred out of Yusef’s room as my son should not have to deal with this. Other than this, the Director has informed me that my son is doing very well at school, participating in group therapy, etc. And he is quite pleased with my son. Again, all of this is great, but it is still not home.
In my older son’s case, we have to get CYS off of him, so that he’ll be able to come home every other weekend as the normal therapeutic treatment plan is normally done. This at least would be somthing he could look forward to and strive to do better in order to fulfill jis treatment plan and goals, so that he would then be able to be discharged to come home. At Devereaux, the children are discharged to come home when they complete their treatment plans and goals.
If it is possible, we’ll go every Saturday for my older one and every Sunday for my younger one. They are both able to call in the evenings. A for 5 minutes twice a week and Y for 10 minutes twice a week. Plus, I can call them. Although they both initially are starting to cry when they are first on the phone, they are usually OK and sounding more like themselves by the time we say our goodbyes. It’s hard on me too. But I do my best not to fall apart on the phone and to reassure them and try to keep their spirits up until they can come home.
The ability to come home every other weekend is especially important as it is a part of my older son’s treatment which involves working on familial relationships. So that when it comes time for his discharge, we will as a family, get along better and life at home should therefore be smoother, easier and happier for all. Basically, because of my son’s low tolerance and frustration levels, he had difficulties in being able to control his anger and thus being able to express it in a more acceptable way. This would then in turn create a lot of turmoil at home between him and his younger brother. Hopefully, he will learn better coping skills, and I will in turn learn better strategies to help him in this, so that through time it will become a natural thing for him to be able to do.
And, although initially as Jenn mentioned in the prior post that T., the CYS worker who was present at my son’s admission to Devereaux, didn’t seem too thrilled over it, she nodded her assent to it. As after all, this is one of the goals: to work with the children’s goals and treatments for family reunification.
As CYS has repeatedly stated they want me to be actively involved in my son’s treatment plan as that would be part of my “Permanency Plan” which is required (along with a “parenting class” and whatever else they suddenly come up with to do as their requirements for family reunification.).
After all, they keep hammering away on “they have concerns”, “they have safety concerns” and “they have issues”. All of this is always vague and never stated explicitly as to what these concerns are. I personally believe that this is a deliberate tactic that they employ so that they can always be able to change their requirements whenever they choose, as verbal statements can’t be proven unless it is either recorded and or videotaped.
I’ve been on a so-called waiting list for this “parenting class” for over 7 months. I’ve continually asked the CYS caseworker when I would be taking this class and all I get is: “I’m still on the waiting list”. Now mind you, I have a degree in Early Childhood Education with a minor in Psychology. And, even though I’ve told them this, it makes no difference.
Plus, as many of you already know, I’ve successfully raised a beautiful, smart and well-adjusted daughter on my own as I had divorced her father when she was very young. And, she is the proud mother (and I the proud grandmother) of two beautiful little ones. So, I obviously must have done something right.
At one point I was told (1 month ago) that they would see if the parenting class could be waived as we had just had Family Based Services which was tailored to my son’s needs; rather than a “generic” parenting class”. And, guess what? Surprise! Surprise! They mentioned that I still needed to take this class at the courthouse 2 weeks ago.
I was also told 1 month ago that they would wait until my older son was placed in Devereaux and my younger son’s WRAP services started. As September was my review month (they do them every 6 months). They would then most likely close my case. As everything else that had been required had been taken care of. Also, a couple of alleged allegations that they had had also been found to be unfounded and was closed. Because I had swatted my younger on the behind a couple of times, the stated I admitted to using tools on him, such as a paint stick and a metal spatula. I said no such thing. As they went to camp, checked my son and took pictures of him as well. They admitted he didn’t have a mark on him. Of course he didn’t, I didn’t do anything like that to him. So that also is “unsubstantiated”.
CYS is just grasping at straws. Anything they can think of to keep hanging on. I think they had decided they wanted to take my boys away from me a while ago. They just waited until they had something they could embellish and blow out of proportion in order to get a court order. Which is exactly what they did.
I really do believe that all of this is being done because for some reason either they don’t personally like me, possibly have differing opinions on some issues than I, etc. Bottom line, I believe it’s an issue of control; someone is really on a power trip. I have been continuously harassed by them since January of 2007. It has been one excuse after another as to why they haven’t closed the case.
First it was truancy which the school principal called them in January of 2007. That is the original reason for their involvement, which was then taken care of through medication changes and a strict bedtime routine. The case should have then been closed. Instead, for whatever reason, they decided to stay involved and started looking for anything and everything they could.
Grasping at straws to keep involved and as each thing became unfounded, they would look for something else. Then it simply became vague “concerns and safety issues”. Vague issues that would be hard to fulfill as of course it’s meant to be for some bizarre and twisted reason. It really takes a special kind of hard unfeeling person to be able to do this kind of work and still have the utter gall to act like they care and are compassionate and want to earnestly work with you for family reunification right after tearing your family apart. What’s wrong with this picture?
I personally am beginning to think that they are the ones with the metal illness that allows them to do this kind of thing to people. I truly don’t know how they can otherwise live with themselves and sleep at night. They must not have a conscience. They couldn’t, at least not like a normal person’s.
From there it just spiraled out of control. Grasping at straws to find anything and everything that they can think of to stay “involved”.
Supposedly referring for services to help. Something they never have done. All of the children’s services were services that I had requested and their MH/MR case manager, later the ICM case manager as well as PA Counseling Services who also helped with referrals to obtain the various services that they needed.
It was the day before they took my children away from me that T. the CYS caseworker told me that I could call her for help with transportation services if I needed them. I sometimes would need that. Especially towards the end of the month as I live on Social Security Disability. So, funds are low at the end of the month. How ironic was that? She helped with transportation alright; she transported my kids away from me the next day. She’ll get hers. Between possible legal actions and the fact that I believe in karma. What comes around, goes around.
Then it became “missing doctor appointments”. Which did happen due to illness a couple of times. But, the appointments were always rescheduled within a few days to a week later. Plus, the boys always received their medications religiously. They never missed them.
Then, they focused on my medications. Suddenly the supervisor’s supervisor, K. was of the opinion that he had never seen anyone on the amount and types of medications that I take. Since they didn’t like it, they didn’t approve of it. So, I found myself suddenly having to defend my illnesses and my medications. This man told my daughter over the phone this. So, I had to go to my family physician and a psychologist to disprove their theories of serious mental illness and possible drug addiction. Which I did. They still have “concerns over my parenting abilities.”
After this it was a lack of supervision. The boys got into a fight one afternoon. All kids at one time or another fight. Usually over something stupid. That’s part of being a kid.
And a couple of days later, Jenn and I went shopping (that was when she bought an adorable little pug puppy, Leah) and as it was getting late, I called my neighbor L. to pick up my sons at the bus stop. Which she did. She then watched them for me until we got back. The boys had stayed in L.’s house until about 3/4 of an hour before we got back. They wanted to go outside and play for a while. It was at this time CYS came unannounced and saw my sons and L.’ son playing on my swing set in my yard while L. sat outside with her daughter at the side of her house so that she could both see and hear the boys. CYS assumed that they were unattended because my car wasn’t there. My older son said that they never even asked him if someone was watching them or not. He said they just turned around and left.
These were my lack of supervision episodes. Again, this was one of their excuses for lack of parental supervision. Again, questioning my parental abilities. They didn’t want to hear that kids need to be able to go outside and play. They also need to learn some responsibility., And by allowing them a little time outside alone encourages that. If they never have the opportunity to learn some responsibility as they grow up, what will become of them once they are an adult? They wouldn’t be able to function and I am not going to be around forever to take care of them. Plus, it’s not healthy for them. Yes, they have special needs, but they still need to learn some responsibility and independence.
Well, this is going to be a very busy weekend, between visiting both boys, picking up my father and bringing him along to visit with the boys also, and finally with meeting with a member of daddyjustice.com and a phone conference with someone from welfare who had called me yesterday as well. I am praying that something positive and good will come from this for my sons and myself.
Please keep spreading the word and keep us in your prayers. I also believe strongly in the power of prayer.
I am praying that something positive and good will come from all of this for my sons and myself. My sons are truly my life. I would do anything for them. And, I will continue to work diligently along with Jenn to get this taken care of as soon as we possibly can.
Unfortunately, because of laws passed by prior presidents in the past (such as Clinton in 1997), CYS has way too much power that is and has been abused by power hungry caseworkers. Just imagine if you had that kind of power at your disposal and if for some reason you just didn’t like someone and how easily you can just twist around facts, embellish and outright lie in order to get a court order to tear apart families for no real reason other than to assuage your own control issues.
This is unfortunately what has happened to me and many other families.
We as a nation need to write to our congressmen, state welfare agencies as CYS is a part of the welfare system to repeal these laws. As many of you had said, you knew of people this has happened to also. You never know, if a neighbor doesn’t like you, it only takes a phone call to have CYS in your life to wreak havoc. So, this is something that you can do, write to your congressmen to have these laws appealed and rewritten. You never know: it can happen to you too, God forbid. That is also another thing that all of us can do. I never knew anything about this kind of mess until it happened to me. And the shock of it all has still not totally left me. I can’t believe how all of this went so out of control and how easily they can just cavalierly make these statements to take my sons away from me.
They should not have passed a law that can be applied so easily across the board without any consequences to the CYS caseworker involved. Instead, it should have more safeguards, so that it can only done to children who are in obvious situations of physical, sexual, emotional abuse, neglect (such as no clothing, no food, being locked up, etc). That is the type of case where the children would be better off in a decent shelter until either their family situation can be resolved or if unfortunately or maybe fortunately in their case, adoption.
Please keep spreading the word and keep us in your prayers. I also believe in the power of prayer. And in the power of the internet. Besides informing all of you out there who know Jenn and are her friend, this will also in inform your friends and beyond. Just like the ripple effect of a pebble thrown into a stream.
Plus, you just never know who might come across this, read it and perhaps be the one who is able to help me get my sons back, get CYS out of my life and possibly assist me in suing them for harassment and the smearing of my good name and reputation as well as the emotional duress that my sons, my daughter, her children and especially myself.
My sons are such a part of me. All of you who are mothers understand this. They are literally a part of me. I still remember them in my body, feeling them move, feeling them being born as they slipped out of my body until I finally held them in my arms minutes later. They will always be a part of my life. Just as my daughter is also.
I graciously thank each and everyone of you out there.
Carolyn
On Monday, September 22nd, 2008, my mother and I were present for my thirteen year old brother’s admission at a residential school. (FYI, this was something that had been planned out and arranged before Children & Youth came on the scene and removed the boys from my mother’s care)
During the admission process, the staff and director of the residential school brought up the importance of including the family in the treatment plan, and that part of that plan is sending home the child every other weekend to work with his or her family. The question was posed to Children & Youth: is it acceptable for my thirteen year old brother to come home to his family on every other weekend?
Since this plan IS part of the treatment plan and not allowing it would be detrimental to the treatment plan, Children & Youth agreed that this would be acceptable.
Fast forward to today. My mom is speaking to the director of the residential school, and he informs her that, surprise surprise, Children & Youth has gone back on their word, and my thirteen year old brother is forbidden from coming home to either my mother or myself, and all of a sudden our visits with him at the residential school must be supervised.
Is it a coincidence that this comes on the heels of my phone conversation with Children & Youth last week, during which I informed them that they couldn’t dictate what goes on with my brother and his treatment plan while he is at the residential school?
Somehow, I doubt it.
But the good news is that daddyjustice.com, the same group who is responsible for helping another little girl return to her parents AND for the parent’s settlement of $125,000, and another very important person, have both gotten in touch with my mother and are very eager to speak to both of us and start investigating.
Hopefully, good things will be happening very soon.
For anyone who has any disillusions about CPS and what they really do to families all over the United States, I highly suggest purchasing and reading Memoirs of a Baby Stealer: Lessons I’ve Learned as a Foster Mother. It’s written from firsthand accounts and experiences a real foster mother has had in her dealings with various CPS agencies, as well as the “higher ups”.
The sad fact of the matter is that for every one child that is truly in need of help and being removed from the home, there are five more that are pulled just because. Because they can. Because they want to. Because they see the dollar signs, they enjoy throwing their weight around.
So many times it’s about power and money, and not about the child’s best interest (a statement both my mother and I have made to the Children & Youth workers, their supervisor, and to everyone who is willing to listen). In the case of my brothers, it really IS about power and money. This post shows proof enough of that.
We have written more letters. Passed out more businesses cards. Made more phone calls. Now we sit, and we wait. We deal with the tearful phone calls from my brothers, and I hold myself together in front of my mother but let myself go in front of my husband and best friend, because I’m strong enough to take her grief and the grief of my brothers, but she isn’t strong enough to take mine on top of her own and theirs.
I hate the waiting game.
My mother, myself and my husband had the opportunity to speak to my ten year old brother (the one who is still at the emergency shelter) for five minutes today. Tomorrow, my mother and I will be able to visit with him for an hour and a half.
I cautioned my brother not to speak to Children & Youth. If they ask him anything or want him to write or sign anything, he is to direct them to my mother or to her lawyer. I hope he’ll remember our instructions. But in any case, we have provided the shelter with a signed copy of the statement/letter that forbids Children & Youth to talk to either of my brothers without the presence of my mother, myself or our lawyer.
Acting on a tip, we contacted consumerist.com. I also followed up on a lawsuit mentioned on Daddy Justice and got in touch with the investigators that helped out that particular family, Archangel Investigations.
Since we have sent so many letters and emails between Thursday and now, we’ll hopefully have some responses come in by Monday or Tuesday.
We printed up business cards advertising savemyboys.com, and handed them out to several individuals that were present at an educational meeting for my brothers yesterday afternoon. My mother’s ex-husband (my brothers’ father) also took a handful of the business cards, and will be handing them out and printing up additional copies.
We have also contacted all of the local and regional media outlets that we can think of. In addition, we have touched base with those who oversee Lancaster County’s Children & Youth, as well as the commissioners of Lancaster, the mayor, and the governor of Pennsylvania. Very early Friday morning my mother sent a long email to Congressman Joe Pitts. (A hit from Harrisburg, PA came in yesterday afternoon; hopefully it’s from Pitts and he will be able to somehow help us!) I fired off an email to the district attorney, and inn a few minutes I am going to look up the contact information for our state representatives and local legislators.
Janet created a Facebook group, and I posted a MySpace bulletin. Several bloggers have written blog posts and linked to savemyboys.com, and several others are posting banners (you can find them here).
savemyboys.com has been live for less than 48 hours, and already we have received over 1,100 unique hits!
Please, keep blogging, keep linking, keep promoting. There is strength in numbers, and you never know who may read this blog and what they may be able to do for us!
On Friday, September 19th, 2008, there was an emergency court hearing held to grant Children and Youth temporary custody (until the next hearing, which is on October 22nd) of my brothers. At that time, the caseworker, T, and her supervisor, J, assured both my mother’s lawyer and myself, verbally, face to face, that I would be allowed to have kinship care of my youngest brother (my thirteen year old would be enrolled in a residential boarding school the following week). All I would have to do is fill out the necessary paperwork for a child abuse clearance and a criminal background check, and have my fingerprints taken and checked against/added to the FBI database.
On Monday, September 22nd, 2008, I was again told that so long as those things cleared (which they would), and I passed a home inspection (which I would) and signed up for foster parenting classes, I would be able to have kinship care of my youngest brother. Again, this was said to my mother and I in person on both occasions.
Later that same day my mother and I presented the social worker, T, with a written statement, informing her that under no circumstance were either of my brothers to be interviewed, questioned or ask to provide any type of written statement to her or anyone with Children and Youth, if my mother, myself or our attorney was not present. We gave it to her in front of several of the staff members of the residential boarding school present, and asked her to sign it (which she did).
Tuesday afternoon I received a phone call from T and her supervisor J, informing me that my kinship care request had been turned down. The basis? Supposedly I failed to follow a safety plan this last February. At that time my thirteen year old brother spent twelve days with me. At the end of the twelve days my mother and I were given verbal permission from C&Y to take him home, and so my mother did.
All of a sudden now C&Y is trying to say that no permission was given, they knew nothing about him being home until they saw for themselves at the next meeting.
I’m sorry, but it isn’t adding up. First of all, my mother and I were given permission. Like I said to T and J on the phone, are we really stupid enough to break one of their “safety plans”? I think not.
And secondly, if for some reason we did, wouldn’t it warrant enough concern to be addressed immediately (in other words, as soon as they found out my thirteen year old brother returned home)? It isn’t something to sit on and then bring out SEVEN MONTHS LATER.
I’m sorry, but it seems a little too coincidental that Children & Youth was all gung-ho about me having kinship care of my youngest brother, until I stepped up to the plate, went to bat for my mom and spent several days helping her learn her legal rights and what we could do (including asserting ourselves in the form of informing them in a written, signed statement that they may not speak to the boys without our presence or the presence of our lawyer).
So, what do you think?